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| June 12, 2020 |
Abigaile phone call almost 5 min. No words only an extended nervous laugh. I am telling Abigaile mommy - that mommy loves Abigaile mommy misses Abigaile. I love my Abigaile. Can you use your words Abigaile tell mommy what you did today? No engagement, no response - no reply.
I asked Abigaile if she was ready for mommy to read no response - I asked her to say my mommy loves me and she screamed.
I am just over 5 min. In the call and have heard no intelligible words from Abigaile at all.
I start reading to Abigaile.
I read A Little Sweet Tea and Abigaile had no response. I ask if she is there - no response. I can hear shuffling around in the background - no response from Abigaile only a grunt. No intelligible word or response.
I read read Brown Bear Brown Bear - no response, no engagement. Abigaile is making a sound mm mm and says Poppy.
I read Old Macdonald Had A Farm -I asked Abigaile if she could say Mmm mmmm mmm like mommy when reading the portion about mooo with the cows. This is how I taught Abigaile the letter sounds that I did was through engagement. Abigaile said mmm sometime later - there is no way to tell if it was because she was already saying mmm or if it was appropriate response. I asked her if she could say mommy- there was no response.
I read about the sheep saying Baa Baa Baa and asked Abigaile if she could say Baa baa baa - no response - no engagement and the phone was quiet. I kept asking if Abigaile was there, if the phone was mute, if Abigaile could hear me- no response. I could hear no noise again just like last week. So I hung up and called back to make sure the phone was not mute. Abigaile made sounds - unintelligible.
I read about Old Macdonald Farms and Ducks and asked Abigaile if she could say Duh duh duh like duck. No response and no engagement.
I read about Old Macdonald Farms and the Pigs- asked Abigaile to say puh puh puh . I told Abigaile you can say poppy and please can you say puh puh puh- there was no engagement and no response.
I asked if Abigaile is there -she laughed. Her response was sluggish and slurred. The laugh was slurred. She did not sound or respond alert.
I read Pat A Cake to her and said yummy Abigaile cake in the tummy- typically before when any type of food was mentioned Abigaile would always say - mmmm. No engagement and no response.
I read Wheels On The Bus- this was by far in the past Abigailes most interactive and engaging nursery rhyme. She was always interactive with this song. I read about the horn on the bus asking her to repeat beep , beep , beep. But she has no engagement, no noise, no response at all. I continue reading, requesting her engagement and nothing. I get to the part with what do the babies on the bus do and Abigaile has always ( until may 2017) she would reply - ma ma ma- but she no longer acknowledges , has no engagement at all and has no response. The final is the mommies on the bus and I have always say the mommies blow sugars ( sugars is kisses in our southern terms). So we make a mutual smacking noise - this has been a form of communication with Abigaile since she was born. It was especially important watching her and communication through her traumas. I asked Abigaile at the end of saying what do the ma ma ma’s do Abigaile and I gave her a smacking noise and i heard a smack that didn’t sounds sluggish at all so I said wow Abigaile that was a clear smacking not sluggish at all. She has been not sounding alert and has sounded sluggish through the entire call.
I then read Five Little Ducks - no response, no engagement even when I request her and say Abigaile - no response .
Abigaile used to giggle when I would say “ quack , quack , quack “- it must have been funny to her for me saying quack quack like a duck.
My final story was Twinkle Twinkle Little Star- there was no engagement , no response , no words.
Abigaile sounds drugged and sick as she has in every phone call I have been on with her. The phone was disconnected at 5:02 pm.
I called her back and explained to Abigaile once I heard her make a noise, that I never know when the phone is going to hang up, I never know if it is intentional, if the phone is muted or by accident. I wanted Abigaile to be told by me that mommy loves her, mommy misses her and mommy is praying for her and Natascha. Then I hung up the phone. There was no engagement, no response to anything I have said. This is truly beyond heart breaking. I know my child. I know what she is experiencing. It is beyond sad to me that profit and pride take precedence over a Childs best interest and especially her health.
Abigailes health and well being - her progress is no where at the level of what it was when she was in my care. Besides the fact a special needs and handicapped child was separated from her mom with no evidence of harm or negligence it is really repulsive to me that this behavior has been allowed to continue by every single person on her team. It makes me angry that people will honor their own pride and profit before considering and before acknowledging the well- being and health of a child.
I continue to send good morning and goodnight messages via email and text messages to Natascha. I have done this every single day now for 1,118 days since they were taken from me and my care and have been completely estranged from me. I get no response back from Natascha to me. I have received a text from Natascha's old phone number that was the last known number that I have for her on birthdays or Christmas and mothers day. The verbiage sounds like her dad speaking. It is beyond sad to me that my beautiful girls I saw slipping away as she was being estranged long ago. It took me being forced away from her to understand what was happening. But I see it all clearly now. One day I will see my children again. One day.
I am not the enemy.
We have court again on June 29th 2020. I will have a representative for me and for Justice this time. I am not just praying for Justice but I am believing for Godly Justice.
with love, hugs, sugars and more love
your mommy forever 💗
xoxo
# @JusticeforAbigaileandNatascha
# child parent alienation and estrangement
# medical maltreatment
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