I have been reminded of this verse many times, through many circumstances and have been to this place so many times. I believe it is part of our maturity , growth and to humble ourselves before God and His very presence in our lives. I think of God and I am brought to tears, to my knees in worship, in adoration of Him how He can love those who are so filthy and no worth of His praise but yet He adores His children, us.
We have dealt with many circumstances and I will tell you the deeper our faith the more humbling experience happens. I am just reduced to "ashes" . I am waiting for my beauty in all this and I believe that my beauty comes from praising God and to worship God through all this, that is my beauty.
To get an updated on our family please be sure to read our family blog for our latest experience. You can find it here : http://funinthesonthegolecfamilytimes.blogspot.com I will update some photos of our time at the house in Cantata Drive. We are praying for those who have wronged us and I believe that God will deal with them.
You know what, I am not perfect but I stand with and am in agreement with a perfect God, one who knows no sin and one who has forgiven our sins. I am praying for those who call themselves Christians and those who don't to be forgiven they are being misled by their flesh. I have never seen anyone spitefully, hatefully and be vindictive to a family with a special needs child. It is rampant.
I pray also for those who know we have had NO help and think that we are on some sort of vacation, I assure you this is no vacation. I can't believe how many people call us to tell us of their wonderful trips and time off and how they are having such a good time. I just have no words for this. Its great that your having such a great time, but really you talking to a family who has done therapy for ten (10) very long years. We are talking 7 days a week with no option to stop if we want to help our child. We have had minimal to no help during all of this. We have not had the support from friends and family that I see for a lot of people or community and that is okay. We have God. I have not been away from either of my children for Sixteen (16) years and ten (10) of those years have been with a special needs child with no break.
We do not get to go shopping and leave our child with someone, we do everything with our girls and we do not have family or friends who have watched them. Please do not take it wrong for those who have helped us along the way. We are thankful to those who have helped we have been very appreciative.
We have extreme allergic reactions, occasional seizures from multiple chemical sensitivity, therapy, treatments, we have to do a meal plan and shop at local farms (this is not convenient food or a drive through) we don't have a choice this is what we do to make our child well. We have to wash clothes , eat, wash dishes and do many things that are different than most people because that is what we do to help our child.
We have stayed in a hotel since moving so that we can continue therapy and treatments for our child. This is not a vacation. This is reality and it stinks. How would you like to stay in a hotel that your child is allergic to the food, the bedding, the dish detergent, the cleaning supplies used, the dishwasher soap, the sofa (polyester) the staff uses a fragrance in their cleaning supplies they are afraid to even clean our room anymore. We look outside and see all the families who are able to visit the buffet bar (part of the price) go every morning to a pre made hot breakfast and coffee or juice for them and dinner three (3) nights per week that are made for them. We can't enjoy these things. Do you know how it breaks my heart to see my little girl who can't eat this look at each of us with a plate and her little eyes light up and she says "Ummmmm" wanting some not even knowing what it is .. Its just different? How about the swimming pool? We just spent a year and a half at a house in Mission Viejo with a pool so we could work on Abi.s balance and trunk control and yes so she could enjoy swimming and playing in the water. She loved it! She also managed to greatly improve on her trunk control and even ventured walking Independent in the pool (we of course were near her, but she had the self- esteem to walk independently.) This is what we wanted. Unfortunately, the landlord didn't have the same regard for Abi.s health that we do. In fact, he sprayed chemicals and completely disregarded what he told him would could be harmful to her health. It was a blessing to move even if it isn't the ideal situation. So we sit here looking at all the kids, on summer break outside with their snacks, spraying sunscreen and playing in the pool. Abi sits here for hours looking at them outside the window. Unfortunately she can't join them and neither can her sister as the chemicals could cause her harm. What do I do? I praise God for the day that she doesn't have to sit on the sidelines and watch other kids play.
So from here we have an address in Texas and we are looking to move soon. We have Speech therapy scheduled for a month in Northern Cal. and dental appointments. Abi also has some dental appointments that will be taken care of before the year is over.
We are having to sell and give everything away again beside our personal effects and clothing and move on...
its just stuff...
some wishing us well and telling us how bad they have it ...
how they never get a break,
how they never get time away,
how they can't afford anything, our world needs more God! They say that they know God, Do they really know the same God I know? I wonder? We gave everything to God, we no longer own anything. We like it this way. I am reminded of this verse:
Luke: 9:23 Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.
When people say that they can't understand, I don't think many can understand it is supernatural it is God. I don't try to pretend that it doesn't bother me it does bother me. I let people think what they want. The people who truly know God knows and understands. If you don't understand try getting closer to God.
Our story and witness is about who we place our trust and faith in.