1268 days ago the world ended to me

   I want to first and foremost say thank you to my family, my friend, my neighbors, and even complete strangers for helping me through what would seem like is eternal hell. I am thankful to each and everyone of you who has extended kindness, love, and generosity even when you didn’t have it to give yourself.

   This is what faith looks like in the flesh.   It has by no means been easy. I have cried countless nights, countless days. I have felt frustrated, helpless, beyond controlled and manipulated. At the end of each of these feelings God has always had someone there who has encouraged me  no matter how bad it looked and no matter how bad the news coming to me seemed impossible. 

   There really is no hell and I’ve experienced a lot of  hell in my life because of my own bad choices, and because of others bad choices that I’ve had in my life. But there is no hell like the hell of watching your children being put through hell when it has been completely unnecessary. To be forced and coerced out of my daughters lives has been the worst form of punishment I’ve ever experienced in my life. Sadly I can only speculate why, who, and for what horrible reason but it doesn’t get back the time that has been stolen from their childhood - it doesn’t gain them or me extra time stolen from me. My days will be shorter in number than theirs.

  I’m writing this because tomorrow Tuesday, November 10 is the trial that I have been waiting for for 3 1/2 years. I’m asking for your prayers and for the Lord’s prayer that His will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.   I can only pray for  spiritual justice from God. I pray for truth and only truth. 

  I’m beyond thankful for each and every person who has been praying for me and my family. It has been a long 3 1/2 years of trying to make sense of something that makes no sense. And it has been a long 3 1/2 years of being forced away from my  daughters. This is truly been the most horrific trauma I have ever experienced in my life. And I have experienced near death more than once. I’m grateful and thankful that I serve a God who believes in life who believes in truth and who believes in justice. 

  I pray for each and every person that is involved in the hearing tomorrow.  I pray that only truth will come out and only truth will be on record. I pray that all the darkness and I pray all the deceit will be illuminated by the light. 

  I pray that God bless each and everyone of us with truth and justice.

Happy Birthday little Sweet Pea ! We love you !

 My little sweet pea Abigaile was born just after 11:00 am.  We were over-joyed at the thoughts of another little one for Allen and I who prayed for the baby to be healthy and well, and for Natascha to have a baby (sibling to play with) we did not know what sex.  

  We have our then friends Matt and Deanna who watched Natascha and took her to church for us so she didn't miss services and she could still have fun. She slept at their house for a few hours and later that day she had a baby sister. 

  Abigaile, you name stands for strength, look at Abigaile in the Bible who was a woman of great strength this I know that you are and will be a great woman of strength one day. 

  Abigaile you have filled our lives with Joy, Happiness and faith!  

  We have watched you from getting injured from the vaccines, and not knowing if you would live one minute to the next day but we always had faith that God is not a killer, God gives life. He gave you life and He gave you to our family.  You are an awesome testimony of healing and hope and Joy!  

  Even though you won't have and never have had what everyone else knows to be a normal Birthday we ( your dad, and I and Natascha ) will do the best we can to play with you, make you happy and have a lot of fun with you on your birthday. 

  My prayers for you is life, happiness, to overflow with Joy. I pray for exceeding Joy for you the rest of your days. I pray for protection from the ugliness of the dark and principalities of dark. 

  I pray for you that you fulfill Gods call on your life. My prayer is abundant life until it overflows.  You have given us some of the most trying past 9 years but I would never trade them for anything. I just wish that you would have never had to get injured from the vaccine that is my greatest wish of all. 

  I pray little sweet pea that your day is blessed beyond measure and that God richly blesses you today and many more days to come. 

love you sweet pea,

your mommy <3