Broken- ess

bro·ken ˈbrōkən/ verb 1.  past participle of break. adjective 1.  having been fractured or damaged and no longer in one piece or in working order. "a broken arm" synonyms:smashed, shattered, fragmented, splintered, crushed, snapped; More

Happy Fathers Day

Im reminded of Fathers Day.  This year just as hurtful as the year my dad passed away.  This world is just not my home.  I miss my daddy so much the pain hasn't completely gone away I don't think it ever will.  My dad was such a good man. He was honest, full of love, had patience beyond understanding, had Joy talking to people, was kind and gentle to everyone he met. Im not sure he ever met a stranger. I seldom saw him lose self -control.

I would like to wish my husband Allen and dad of our two girls Happy Fathers day also.

  I did want to wish all the Fathers out there Happy Fathers Day.

I do want to share this Fathers Day card with everyone though. Its really special because this Father is in Heaven and hopefully very soon we will see Him.

Fathers Love Letter

My Child,

You may not know me, but I know everything about you.   Psalm 139:1 

I know when you sit down and when you rise up.   Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways.   Psalm 139:3


Survival of Trauma is not a coincidence

survivor guilt Word Origin  noun, Psychiatry.1.feelingsofguiltforhavingsurvivedacatastropheinwhichothers died.

  I think that when you talk with people or families who have had a loved one to survive such a trauma that there is a feeling of relief. Likewise, there also can be a tremendous feeling of guilt. There is always a feeling of wow why did I survive instead of that person? Why does one person live or certain people live and not others?

survivor guilt definitionA deep sense of guilt, combined often with feelings of numbness and loss of interest in life, felt by those who have survived some catastrophe. It was first noticed among survivors of theHolocaust. Survivors often feel that they did not do enough to save those who died or that they are unworthy relative to the perished.
  This is apparent in mass disasters or major events of death. Plane crashes etc.  Most often you hear it termed a…

There is No Return to Pre-Trauma

sur·vi·vor sərˈvīvər/ noun a person who survives, especially a person remaining alive after an event in which others have died. "the sole survivor of the massacre" the remainder of a group of people or things.
This unfortunately is a crutch of the survivors.  Not just the one who is injured or has been afflicted by the actual trauma.

the Bible even gives recognition to this.  When Jason fought God and left with a limp.

Jesus also wounded with the Crown of Thorns and His being crucified.

There are certain things that you have to go back to that are just life such as jobs, and day to day routines.  If you have a loved one or a family member that has been injured some of these routines won't even be normal.

Its okay though. Also if you have family members or friends that don't understand why you don't have a routine. Tell them to be tha…

Suffering - an opportunity for self- transformation

suf·fer·ing ˈsəf(ə)riNG/ noun the state of undergoing pain, distress, or hardship.
"weapons that cause unnecessary suffering"

First, you must stop being in denial.  I was in denial this could be happening. I had a little baby and she looked normal . My mommy instinct said that something wasn't right. My skills from previously working in nursing also said that something was not right.

Your fist step is to say - something is wrong. Once you do this. You are accepting your Trauma but it also gives you a sense of power over your situation.  Try not to pursue self- blame but I will tell you. It will happen. It happened with me. At the the best it should be a chance to refocus spiritually. 
We should give up all of our false Gods during this time. Stop putting our focus on anything but God. We should worship God alone. 
You will feel suffering during this time. It is part of the trauma.  You must do what you can do for survival mode. We all suffered really for years. We still suf…

Trauma in families

trau·ma ˈtroumə,ˈtrômə/ noun a deeply distressing or disturbing experience. "a personal trauma like the death of a child"