Saturday, April 27, 2013

Reflections of the past and moving on...

Daddy & Abigaile Laguna beach- 2011
Tall Ships Festival Dana Point, Ca 2011
Sea World San Diego, Ca 2012 
GPS: Top of The World 2010
random somewhere around Arizona on the way to California. 2010
    Well it really has been a very busy, tiring, but yet thrilling time for our little girl.  We have been thankful for the time that we have spent here in S. California.
Abigaile @ our condo before we left Arkansas. We were packing the Kidwalk walker was her only form of independence. Sept 2010

 We are at a point however that it is time to move on.  We came here 2 and 1/2 years ago after making the decision that our daughter
would be able to receive a better continuity of medical care.  Her primary care Physician resides here and so it has been a lot easier when we have had issues that we need to deal with it just makes it so much easier. We also have access to more providers and providers that can meet our daughters medical needs.
somewhere in New Mexico or Arizona I could not believe the beautiful rainbow near the sun 2010
 There are also more of a diverse area of treatments for us to select for her with advice from her Primary Care Physician who has been a great deal of help to us. It has really been difficult not having any additional help, not that we have had any additional help to begin with but we have totally depended on our immediate family ( myself, Allen (dad), Natascha (big sister) ) to help with everything. It was before we moved her that we as a family decided that we needed to help Abigaile and she would thrive best under the conditions of the entire family helping her.
Abi wearing her seizure helmet- the meds weren't working Sept 2010
 Each person has given unconditional, and has made sacrifices in order to help Abigaile thrive and do what is best for her.
At a hotel along the way somewhere in New Mexico 2010
I imagine that we all feel tired and short-changed at times. I never get to leave this. We do many things for the well-being of Abigaile. It was our choice, it will remain our choice.  There has been no one else who has contributed to care or decision making or anything with Abigiale for her daily needs ever.
  With that being said we are at the end of our lease soon- very soon.  We will not be able to stay in our home any longer here as the home owner will not allow us any additional time on the lease due to the need to sell his income property.
Awesome splendor of the Grand Canyon 2010
The market here appears as a sellers market and so without further we give him our blessing. I have looked for well over two months trying to find another rental and have not been successful in renting another property.
My three peas (notice I'm hardly ever in pictures, there would be no one to take a picture) @our vacation rental in S. Laguna Beach. 2010 When we got here. 
We have a letter stating that our funds can be paid from a bank who has been gracious in helping with our requests and with current homeowner/landlord giving us a great letter of recommendation. It appears that one way or the other we will be moving. We have been turned down numerous times for other rentals and there are just not the houses coming on the rental market. I believe there are some really ugly things happening and favorites are being played but I don't have time for games nor do I play them.  My family needs a home.
packing and moving from Arkansas Sept- Oct 2010  
  We are putting all therapy and treatments on hold until this happens. Then we will take a week off from moving.

She learned how to cruise and find the water - this is 2nd rental home in Laguna Niguel. 2011

The 24 ft straight truck I was telling you about. its everything we own. Allen fell off this truck the day we left. 
 It stands currently that we aren't sure if we will even be able to stay in the state or not. This means my husbands job he spent 2 years finally securing a full time job we may have to leave simply because we can't find a home and even if we do the cost of living here is so crazy we have no discretionary income. We can't pay our bills and I will have to drop school.  We have many things to consider with this coming up but this too shall pass and we will move on.
Family picture at the Grand Canyon- we dressed like twinkles. It was so cold. Sept 2010

  I wanted to share some of our moments while here and one day I will document the trip on the way here. By the way, we gave away most of our belongings packed up a 24 ft straight truck and we came 1600 miles to help our child. We will trust that God will lead us where
my sweet girl before we left Rogers Arkansas Sept 2010
He wants for us to go next and we will come back to do therapy and treatments we just won't be able to live here.  We are saddened by this but know that is the best decision for our family. I hope you enjoy some of the photos ...

Mr Alex and TMS @ The Brain Treatment Center so thankful for these guys & their knowledge to help stop Abi.s seizures.
I am working on getting the pictures for some reason when I transferred them to the blog from my photo album they didn't transfer where I wanted them to go...
we don't get out much but this was at Newport Mall 2011

Some of the photos are very random but some of the treatments or special times that we have here. We were able with a limited income to still be able to do a lot of free things as we really enjoy nature and there are so many beautiful sights here. One day I'll do a journal of our travel for care...

Abi doing Hyperbaric Oxygen Treatments. We love Dr. Jolly and his team !

we have business cards with this photo it is priceless to me it tells about Abigailes miracle and her vaccine injury

on our way to Lake Elsinore to the outlet mall. 2011

My two beauties. Abigaile & Natascha in hyperbaric chamber. One of us goes in with Abigaile at all times. 

A reminder: Wherever you go God is ALWAYS there! That is where home is at. 

A school field trip at the Long Beach aquarium. Looks like we need some sun. 2012 

is anybody out there @The Center for Integrative Medicine ( we love you guys and girls !!)

we have seen some of the most beautiful beaches, experience warm weather for winter, we have missed terribly the thunderstorms though.
The TallShips Festival at Dana Point, Ca 2011 just gorgeous! 

we LOVE Polfit, a new level of Physical Therapy... love these guys so awesome to work with!
this was Abigaile when she started Polfit could not stand alone. Had to have assistance and walk with her walker ( A Kidwalk)
Dana Point, Ca Harbor. We pack picnics and take our meal we go to the beach to watch the sunset or to the Harbor to watch the sunset and boats . 
My sweet girl at SeaWorld watching one of the shows 2012
Abigaile venturing out on her own to walk in shallow water- she does this so easily now 2012
My beautiful Princesses of the God Most High! This is what Encephalitis looks like.  It can be deadly.
This is Abi after some therapy and walking with crutches at Polfit Thank you Enya and the team at Polfit for making her work. You guys are awesome! She thinks that you are playing LOL

Here is a child @ Polfit and full of life. We still have hard days, with untreatable seizures (God can heal them) and days that we can't determine which thing she is allergic too!

God has not judged us but He is merciful. We are waiting on Him and what He wants for our lives. I forgot to post Dr. Jerry and Abigaile in here but Dr. Jerry was in a previous post and has his own web link. Please forgive me Dr. Jerry ..
It is time to move on, no matter where it is- its like the photo above that says no matter where we go God will be there before us. I am so thankful to know that and you know what? He always has been there! 
our best Physical Therapy at home EVER !
I remember this picture at Aliso Creek Beach and asking God to calm the storms in our life to let me know my baby was healed. He gave me great peace and comfort looking out over the sea.

most incredible sunsets ever..

Thank God for Rainbow Ranch Farms - with out Xenia and Dennis and thank you Mary also and all the other great farm families we wouldn't have had food for our daughter. We are so thankful that we have become part of your family.

The most beautiful sunsets ever....

Allen, how did you blur us?

our Vineyard church family Vacation Bible School

our trip in 2011 to see a nutritionist in San Francisco

Abigaile at Sea World

Thank you Dr. Jerry for your hospitality , your knowledge, wisdom and thank you for helping us to rehab our daughter. We appreciate your insight and just sometimes being honest and saying " I don't know".  Thank you for believing in Abigaile and treating Abigaile and our vaccine injured family when no one else would.  Thank you for sharing information with me and allowing me to voice my fears, and when I didn't feel that something was going to work.  Thank you for making us work out of our comfort zone. 

we have come a long way baby...

  This is really true looking at the past two years of our lives.  After such a horrible event,  the cover up of the truth.  The Dr.s and Specialists in denial, or are they?  Are they not being told the truth are they being lied to?  There are agencies in our US government system that approve all the food, drugs, medical equipment that show a reasonable consideration for the safety system , right? 
  I use to think so, not so much anymore. I am also still in that system to a point and continue education in the system of Health Sciences and out of the system. I have to say besides a few people who are out there just to defiant to the system well I believe there are a lot more people searching and not just being fed what they are being fed. 
  I learned this scenario 9 years ago when my daughter was vaccine injured. It is amazing to me how many people that haven't had this happen to them, haven't researched vaccines, haven't really looked at any of the statistics just believe what information they are given.  Please do not try and educate me on something that is just hear say. I have to laugh when people can't give statistics, or can't give anything except well thats just what is reported.
  I have a medical background. I also have common sense. I also know that not everyone lives by the "one shoe size fits all " philosophy.  First, our case is documented and we asked that it be published. My daughter does not have autism, that in no way means that vaccine injury does not cause autism and it doesn't mean every child will have a vaccine injury.  I didn't just wake up one day anti- vax. I took my children to well-visits (every one of them) I also vaccinated my children until the youngest child had a vaccine injury so severe it almost took her life. I didn't just jump on the anti- vax band wagon in fact I never knew such informed and researched people existed. I wish I had known I would have surely been talking with them early on.
  Seriously what in hell happened to me? Was I so blind working in the system before children that I had become brain-washed and didn't have an open mind? I never knew or felt there was a private agenda behind the pharmaceutical drug industry and it is called INDUSTRY for a reason.  Have you ever noticed that you have to make multiple trips to the Dr. , then get tests, them go to the Dr. for followup , then more tests, then more trips and sometimes multiple Dr.s , specialists and even go out of state?  I love the Dr.s I grew up with their philosophy was food? They would ask my mom, "what is she eating? Is she eating healthy? We lived on a farm.  I remember my parents saying the chickens have gone to hell when they raised chickens for a (name brand chicken producer) they had to go around physically taking little bottles of antibiotics and putting it in each individual water holder.  I next remember they kept taking our dead chickens they had three large chicken houses in addition to my family also raised cattle.  We thought this was a way of life and it was. I also remember when after putting the antibiotics, I remember chickens dying then came they had to go around and put vitamins in the waterers of the chickens. Then they were required to buy medicated feed. Does this sounds right to you? I am not asking for anyones opinion on my daughter I ran with the conventional medical malpractice its called ClubMed a very lucrative business and I have been disgusted by it.  The Dr.s who practice medicine are being pushed to the wayside because they still think and still practice medicine. They are retiring early and earlier. It is shameful there is a time that no one will seem to get well because of all the synthetic money making drugs. I am not completely denying drugs by any means but what I am saying is there is a purpose. There is no conspiracy when your child gets hurt and your family hurts.  Our family has come a long way and our daughter has come a long way. I give this credit to God. It was not the Dr.s, the specialists, not even me or my family , absolutely nothing but God! God has been the one to give us provision, God has been the one who has given us wisdom, the Dr.s wisdom. We are thankful to God for that. We are thankful for Abigailes primary care he is the best, and we are thankful to her team of therapist and the treatments we have been able to do for her. It has been a blessing. The vaccine safety and efficacy is NOT a debate for me but fact and I have my facts other than saying repeated sayings from long ago. 
It is what it is and until those who make the vaccines, acknowledge that there is a problem and until those receiving the vaccines make a big deal or start researching it the truth will never be known. The fact is this: They are still a medication and so anyone can and does have an adverse reaction. If you are in denial of that then you are in denial of truth. If there are no problems with vaccines where are the independent studies? Where is the open research by someone other than the drug companies themselves (hello they makes profits, big profits off of these drugs ) drug dealers do the same and don't pay taxes on it. Why would they starve themselves. Where is the real evidence and where is the research to show that there is no harm and never will be any harm?  There isn't any.


How to let it all go

Footprints One night I dreamed a dream. As I was walking along the beach with my Lord. Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life. ...