There is No Return to Pre-Trauma

sur·vi·vor
sərˈvīvər/
noun
  1. a person who survives, especially a person remaining alive after an event in which others have died.
    "the sole survivor of the massacre"
    • the remainder of a group of people or things.

This unfortunately is a crutch of the survivors.  Not just the one who is injured or has been afflicted by the actual trauma.

the Bible even gives recognition to this.  When Jason fought God and left with a limp.  https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%2032:22-32

Jesus also wounded with the Crown of Thorns and His being crucified. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+19&version=NASB

There are certain things that you have to go back to that are just life such as jobs, and day to day routines.  If you have a loved one or a family member that has been injured some of these routines won't even be normal.

Its okay though. Also if you have family members or friends that don't understand why you don't have a routine. Tell them to be thankful that they don't have your trauma.  It is good for people to wish you well. It is good for people to give of their time etc but you can not live your life again ever like it was prior to the trauma.  We have tried and all that happened is that we ended up being more frustrated. At least for my position in the trauma being a mother and full time caregiver. All of our scheduled changed.

I tried to make it normal and really it messed it up even more. With a daughter who doesn't have a normal schedule and you can't schedule seizures, messed beds, throwing up or all the other side effects of trauma.

Dont get frustrated. Ask family members to help you. If you are the full time caregiver for your child ask friends and family or let your husband take care of the child a few times at least a few hours to help with the stress of being in demand as a caregiver. Being a caregiver is hard work. Its demanding and tiring. Many times there is no pay. If friends don't know what to do. Write a list of things that would be helpful to your family. When someone asks how they can help. Give them a copy of your list. You never know how much someone can bless you.  I believe more people would help if they had a list.
Examples: that would have been help to our family.
1. Money or gift cards
2. Premade meals
3. Gas cards
4. Time sitting with our daughter so my husband and I could have an hour or two just to think.
5. Date night
6. Restaurant gift cards
7. If there are siblings ( playdates w/other kids) I can't tell you the burden I have and the guilt of our older daughter not being able to have sleep overs , play w/other kids and to be able to have done more activities. Ask someone to pick up your child and just take them away from the madness .
8. Friends or family take the Husband or wife out for coffee or lunch. Its nice just to have another adult to talk with. But please don't mention the stress. Remember this family needs as much to feel normal as they can.
9. Love them and pray for them.
10.  Offer to clean their home, clean their car, mow their lawns.  Take out their trash.

Yes redundant as it may seem all of these things really matter to a family who has suffered a trauma. We are in this trauma for Thirteen long years. We have receive a gift of money, gift cards, and a realtor and a dear friend at church who sat with our kids while we celebrated the one and only wedding anniversary we have gotten to celebrate.

Matthew 11:28-30New American Standard Bible (NASB)

28 Come to Me, all [a]who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is [b]easy and My burden is light.”
My Prayer: Lord please take this Yoke from satan that keeps beating us down.  Stop the misunderstandings, the feeling of offenses when we are tired.  We know that Your Word Lord is sharper than a two -edged sword.  We can do all things through You Lord who strengthens us. Amen

 

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