Acts of Kindness and where is God when I am walking through Hell?

When you see other people suffering whether it is immediate family, friends, or even acquaintances- do you rely on God who is in the Spirit ( Mind and thinking ) to physically help others or do you step in and physically show help to them?

  I believe many people,  and I personally have heard many to say this - " well they can do this or that because that is what I had to do?"  I'm ashamed to say it but I have said this very thing.

  But I have grown and matured and also became aware of what others has gone through and now have got to go through many rooms of " hell " during this venture on earth, myself.  The hard hearts and callousness, the bitterness, anger of so many people and turning their situation and circumstances to blame others.  

  Are we suppose to call on God for this?  Absolutely we are.  But not to change others -  hard and callous heart , but to change our own way of thinking ( mind ), will change our heart             ( emotions )  and we will physically ( act out to help).  This is the way God created us to work in the Physical. 

  When others are acting in this manner Absolutely we call on God and Ask God to put physical people in the path of those who have hardened hearts and callous - so those people can show love, understanding, and concern and often to even help with needs.  Sometimes, we are those people being called upon - but we give excuses of I don't have time, I don't have money, I don't have food, I don't have resources. When God is calling on you to do this He is asking you to have faith and in my experience He has always replaced what I have given unless it is something that I really didn't need to begin with. 

  During the past thirty one months of my life, because of what has been thrown upon me in the way of others, hardened heart and callous mind, I have been put at the mercy of many to be able to help me.  What I have experienced so many times is the mind set of " well I had to do this or that and if you don't do that, to hell with you".  I have even tried to help some of these people in the past.

  If you don't go out and get this outside employer etc and you don't do it the way I did it- the projection is ( I am lazy ).  How I wish those saying this could be left without resources, over drawn bank accounts that I helped to contribute to, no transportation at my disposal, so many things.  I personally believe reaping and sowing would be a great living education for some.  I have certainly learned who has been here for me and who hasn't and I can guarantee and assure you that all those I have tried to help, or have helped in the past - have not been there for me.

  

 You see I have matured and grown and learned from something called " experience in trauma and the rooms of hell".  This is where I have resided in for the past Thirty one months for something that I never asked for.  I didn't earn it.  I didn't deserve it.  It wasn't even caused by me.  My children have been given it too- they thought they were getting something else - but no.  

  Please understand we can't always rely that God in Spirit will in fact reach others.  We have to be that person to reach others sometimes.  We have to be there for others.  Whatever that looks like.  If I have something that someone else truly has a need for - I will give it to them.  That is how I am.  I have had family who has helped me and they don't have the ability to.  I am so thankful for my family for this.  I have been given the ultimate and you see if someone would have said ( I'll pray for you but yet- never did anything - NO ONE would be helped) there are some man- made religions that promote this very philosophy.  Right you didn't hear me say doctrine or theology those are words of man.  God is much more simple than that - not complicated He is not a doctrine of heretics.  

  Our belief system that we have been taught is that God is the core of everything good.  That God will put us on the path to good and as long as we do good - we will always experience good. But this is not truth.  

  We also believe that God will punish evil and wickedness but bring good rewards to those who have goodness.  This is not truth.

  We become frustrated and outraged by this belief and it is a fantasy that we have been taught.  

 It is not reality.  When you look around or take awareness of your life you can see this.  We do good but we don't always reap the reward of goodness - we don't always receive it in the measure of how we give it out either.  I am proof of this right now.  And I am angered by it.  But sadly a lie taught by CULTure and even religions that over history have shown dissension of Truth and lies. Instead falsely misleading others to fantasy which never exists.   

  If we abandon either thought - in this belief system , we feel as though we should have never been born.  If we choose to leave our head in the sand and choose to ignore evil and injustice in this system - then we have to question ourselves why were we ever placed in this world?  What kind of a god have our thoughts created in this type of world? 

  What values does our life have?  What Justice does our life have ?  What kind of judge?  What value does any life have and where is the outrage at this injustice?  This is when we surrender to God. 

  God does not tell us to ignore others , He doesn't tell us to do-  just because we have been taught that way.  God tells us to help others when they are suffering and when they have needs.  

  The most eye opening and heart opening thing that has ever happened to me is to see people who don't have money, who don't have resources themselves, who some really don't have anything - but yet they have given to me.  I know this is why God continues to give to them, why God provides for them in provision.  Why they have peace within themselves is by giving.  I too know what this looks like. I have had to give to others during this time also- I didn't have it to give.

  

  My transportation, my finances, my entire family was completely removed and taken from me Thirty one months ago.

   I have been placed at the mercy of God for others to help me.  You might think that a lot of people have helped or given money or even transportation - that is far from the truth.  There have been people on less than one hand of fingers that I can count who have given.  It is a very scary place to be.  

  When you see a person suffering and hurting - don't say I'll pray for you, God will do all the work.  That isn't true.  Yes it is good to pray.  But we as His people must give. Sometimes when we think we don't have anything to give. 

  

  We are supposed to do everything in our power, with the resources that we have at that time - on behalf of God - to relieve that persons suffering and pain ( as though God didn't exist ) or you become a heretic in Gods name.  

  My prayer for our Abigaile and Natascha is that you are putting everything in to action that I have taught you.  I can't and won't be responsible for what others have taught you including your dad.  I can only be held accountable and responsible for what I have taught you from the age you were able to have understanding of what I have taught you -  until you were taken from me in May 2017.  

  I have always tried to teach you to love unconditionally to everyone - even those people who teach you to hate.  I have always taught you to give of everything whether it be water, food, clothing, time - no matter what.  Whether someone else teaches you to be stingy, to hoard, to be gluttons. I have taught you to be kind to others even when they have shown bitterness, envy, hate and have caused strife and dissension in our immediate family and have cause divisions and conflict. 

  Be kind to them- they don't know what kindness is.  Show love to them unconditionally - they don't know what unconditional love it. They repay their hate with more hate.  Those who are full of Pride and fear will control and manipulate you.  Be bold and firm and instead tell them what God says and then act on it.  When people control and manipulate your life be a heretic for God.  

  I love my Abigaile and my Natascha very much.  I miss you more and more every day.  I hate to hear and see more holidays, birthdays, and all the other designated commercialism days to even come.  I hate them.  But I move forward and I thankfully have my birth family and friends to reach out and try to comfort me for the loss I have experienced at the hands of others.  

  Remember it is you who are responsible for you own actions, not others.  Others are responsible for their actions.  

  I love my girls and I miss you both very much.  I am watching and hopeful and waiting to see the day when I see your actions of what I have taught to you. I love you both and miss you both very much.  I remain hopeful in God that God will place people in our paths that will bring you home to me, your mom. 

with love, hugs, sugars and more love, 

your mommy , 💜💜💜

xoxox 

When you partake in physical or spiritual food

Both are important for good health.  Both are equally important in what kind of food do you eat. What do you consume?  Do you consume pure, nutrient dense foods that are grown naturally with nothing added?  

Feeding your Spiritual Soul with Spiritual food is by far more important it will help you to gain clarity on all situations in life. It is wisdom to the Soul.

  Do you fall prey to CULTure and be forced to Socialize your food?  Socializing food can be a dangerous thing.  You can be forced to eat because others eat, what they eat, when they eat.  If you haven't done your research on what is healthy - more so I would say what kind of things would be harmful to your health.  Most people don't see the internal damage that food, and food products do to their health because it is eating away at your organs and systems of the body eventually to get into the bloodstream killing and damaging important cells and even damaging DNA. Cheap, generic, blah blah is not always better. And the common rebuttal is " I can only afford " XYZ major retailer "  I can assure you XYZ major retailers cares nothing for your health. They are mainstream socialism at its peak.  They are part of the beast that feeds you so you think that way.  All while thinking what a good deal you are getting.  

  When you stop paying in to all those things that feed the beast and stop allowing your mind to be controlled of such thoughts - live in reality and be in good health.  Public propaganda, commercialism and guided meditation with hypnosis will make you sick and ill, and long term will be chronic disease so then you can join their Club Med of hypnosis into believe the magic purple pill or potion will do you better.  Or how about a psychological mind drug for seizure control and if that doesn't work you can always have medical marijuna or rub on some CBD oil so that you don't have to face reality.  So that your emotions are dumbed down. You wake up the next day - it's still there isn't it?  

  Reality is the research you do to stay in reality.  Following dangerous people who live addicted to pharmaceuticals and addictive behaviors is far from good health.  

  Dr.s and other so called professionals are fed by their money and a dogma written to make them money.  Not in good health.  They destroy countless men, women, children every single day all in the name of profit, vacations and feeding their families.  They are being held accountable for this as is every human people who is living in the facade of lies, deceit and stealing from the innocent.  

  Spiritual food is what you make of it- do you do good to others or are you judgmental and do you only do good to those who you have bought in to the counter- intuitive dogma?  People who control and manipulate are part of the counter intuitive movement in CULTure.  They cause harm and have no remorse. Wanting to hold their human assets in control and manipulation through deceit, lies and being a counterfeit. 

 They use children as pawns, assets, and destroy their lives.  They inflict pain and trauma and cause harm to their children and then drug them in the name of medicine and CULTure.  How many innocent healthy children have died at the hands of controlling, manipulative, childhood trauma inflicted adults who haven't dealt with their child hood traumas?

  How many children have died because a parent lives in fear and instead of researching or trusting the other parent who has researched and lived this trauma to get the child better and functioning has chosen to live with drugging the child when they show emotions.  

   I have found that whether it be physical food or Spiritual food instead of following family, friends or CULTure and instead of following a movement like the drug addictive - whatever the drug of choice is - to control your mind to make you think it will heal you or stop you from feeling the pain. 

  Just know that when you follow God He is clear that He is the only God - not any socialist industry that profits from sales or from the death of the child or person at the hands of those.  

  My prayer for you both is that I pray that you always use righteous judgment in making your decisions. I pray when you are at the mercy and hands of others that you not be in the hands of those who are without God and who stand to make a profit.  

  There is nothing about making a fair days wage or salary when someone stands to profit by controlling another human beings health.  Never.  There is no righteous decisions being made when another controls or projects the thoughts of another human being to control their emotions. 

   I pray that God gives you insight and wisdom and I pray that when you make decisions-  make the righteous decisions with what God says and forgo what human beings especially those who stand to profit or control.  Control and manipulation is slavery.  When anyone controls your thoughts and actions more than God does you are a slave to them and their agenda - not God.  God doesn't have slavery, God has servants those who want to serve Him because He allows one to make the choice.  

  Momma loves you my beautiful girls.  I miss you both so much my heart hurts for you.  There is no love in causing someone , anyone, especially a spouse or children to intentionally inflict harm, trauma and to cause pain.  I pray that God will get us all through this. I pray that people who are in our path and beside us will hear God and when injustice is being done that they will come forward and speak up- to stop it ! 

  There is never justice in causing harm, trauma, and pain to another human being ever.  I don't care what title they hold in a family unit.  God does not divide or cause division - God does not cause harm or trauma.  I pray that you follow what God says and only make God your God.  I pray for you both. I pray for God and those who are walking out what God says to help keep you safe from harm.  I remain to have faith and I will keep fighting for your both no matter what it looks like.  

with love, hugs, sugars, and more love, 

your momma, forever, 💜💜💜💜

xoxoxo  

The journeys in life lead inward to your soul

As you reflect upon yourself as you travel through your journeys in life.   Have you ever given thought as to how you would see yourself ?  What would that look like?  How would you define it?  How would you respond ?  To yourself ... 

  Do you know for certain that your actions align with God?  No one is perfect. We have been taught by many religions that in fact we can do what we want, when we want, how we want, and in fact never even question it-

much less be convicted by doing wrong or harming others - and simply writing it off and saying -  " well no one is perfect , in fact we all are sinners and God gives us grace ".  I have heard this statement so many times and its most often from the same sects of the same religions over and over. 

 Really?  So where does God tell us to hurt or harm others? ( It is NEVER taught- never justified- never in scripture ). Where is it taught to control, manipulate , abuse and cause harm and trauma to others ? ( It is NEVER taught - NEVER justified - never in scripture).  

  So while on this journey in life - how do you see yourself?  How do you see your reflection and how you project on to others?  How do you think people see you?  It's possible some people see you for who you are - but most importantly is to reflect on your own  actions - 

  There is a saying that says;  " Your actions speak louder than words".  You may have friends and family network cheering you on ( while you cause harm , trauma and destruction to yourself, your children and your family- or maybe even your Ex family and Ex which is a very popular divorce CULTure and very trendy right now.).

  You also pass those actions along to children as they live in fear and trauma thinking those actions are normal.  That is however - how CULTure lives - right?  Wrong!   That is what is projected on to people of how others live.  Through media, marketing, and other guided meditations, hypnosis etc to make it appear - your following what everyone else is doing so it must be right?  

  We will see how in our journeys that those journeys where we prosper - it must lead us from home.  Away from the " supposed security of where we grew up". however it isn't always " safe"  where we grew up.  

Those people had fears, addictions, behaviors, and acted out in them.  Causing the same destruction.  But if we lived in that chaos, confusion, addictions, abuse, trauma etc. then how would you know what is okay?

  You wouldn't until you were away from it.  All of these things projected onto others cause harm and  trauma, they cause division, destruction and often death.  They rob children of their childhoods all for the sake of living in the past.  I believe God allows people to go back to their past - not to live there or stay there but instead He is telling you to make amends with your family members, clear up the past, clear up where you know activity and actions were not right- forgive and move on .  

  I don't believe that God tells you to be emotionally controlled in going back, and falling for emotional control, to be controlled and manipulated into that same destructive behavior - addictions or past.  This is how we pass generational curses and it is how we destroy children.  Generations of children and then speak that this is normal, how everyone lives - this is reality- when in fact- IT'S A LIE.   God doesn't have sacraments, tenants, or even traditions that say to live this way.  

  When we see this happen we must instead go into our own self- our soul and see God.  This is a journey to within - to go inward into your own being- your own soul - to focus on what God is trying to do in your life- what God is trying to purpose out of your pain, trauma and past.  Take this journey when God allows it, take the Journey to yourself and instead allow God to give you Beauty for Ashes.  

Genesis 12:1-3 

Now the Lord said to Abram,

Go forth from your country,

And from your relativesAnd from your father’s house,To the land which I will show you;And I will make you a great nation,And I will bless you,And make your name great;And so you shall be a blessing;And I will bless those who bless you,And the one who curses you I will curse.

And in you all the families of the earth will be blessed.”

   My prayer for my beautiful girls is to be sure that on your Journey in life - do NO Harm to anyone.  

I love you and miss you both very much.  

love, hugs, sugars, more love

forever, 

Your mommy  💜💜💜

xoxoxo

Our sunshine could be a rainbow

In the garden when God created man and woman He gave a garden with everything to sustain man and woman.  The Creator gave everything and man and woman had nothing to give or to return.  Everything was provided to them and for them.  They lacked for nothing.  Was this because they hadn't defined what lack was?  Or was this because they were not taught lack?  

  Man and woman were not worried about lack and were not worried about having nothing.  Was this because of the way they were taught - or because nothing was ever defined to them?   

  In my experience, people have been taught by their mom or dad, taught by different forms of education, taught by society and culture.   All of these are guides as to how we make decisions and how we choose to live.  It doesn't mean they are right or wrong -  it means that we have used moral values or science and sometimes a little of both in our decision making.  

  We have to use caution in when we date or get married to others in making those decisions be very cautions -  you can cover all those things on your heart and set in stone before you are married.  You can even be so convinced that you believe the same thing.  The truth is that you will be tested through out your relationship or your marriage if that is in fact true. 

 This will also be tested for you to go back and live the ways that you were child reared.  Sadly I am seeing and talking with others that their spouse has chosen to be unfaithful to their spouse, betray their spouse and their children because they have been led to believe they should live as their birth family.  People are destroying their family because of this.  

  In the world that God created.  A created being became born.  The body being the mind, soul and the physical body.  God gave to this created body a share of Creation.  God also gives provision along the way not because of what others " tell us to do with it" but because God and God alone " allows that provision based on Trust and good Faith in God".  Not systems , not man, not even a legal system that is bought and paid for to hurt and harm others.  

  When God gives provision and He gives to one, to a marriage, to a family - when people use culture and systems of thinking it causes harm. A system doesn't have humanity in mind but profit, control and manipulation.  This can cause storms, harm and trauma because this is contrary to how God created us.  

  However when we follow through with how God created us, how we use provision that God has given to us - even in the benefit for others including our spouse, our children and our lives - God will bless it and He will Shine down on it and bring peace.  This is the sunshine of God our Creator.  God will in fact bless this and continue to bless this.  God doesn't bless hurting or harming others nor does He bless provision or anything that He has given that is being misused for the system.

  My prayer for my Abigaile and Natascha is that you focus on our Creator.  That when you make a covenant or a promise with God for what He has given to you.  I pray that you follow through with the honesty, truth and integrity that I have taught you.

  I pray that you always put God and His ways before culture and the lies, deceit, and corrupt thinking that so many in culture have because of their fears or traumas.  Don't allow others to make decisions for you when you do this it allows others to control and manipulate you thinking for their deceit.  God isn't about fight or flight - God is about Truth and integrity and always telling the truth.  I pray that you remember the ways of modesty, truth and being honest. These things will give you Dignity and honor and good favor with God.  These things will never hold you hostage or keep you in captivity.  

  I love you my beautiful girls I miss you and I pray for you for your safety for your well- being.  For your mind, your soul and your body to stay safe and stay dedicated to how God says your should live.  I pray that God shines His Sunshine on your through Truth and that God gives your many Rainbows after the hurt and traumas.  

  With God there is only one story.  That is the Truth story - God doesn't have to create false memories or rewrite stories on blogs , websites or to others.  Deceit and lies are deceit and lies.  Truth is truth.  My prayers are to see you soon - I place that Truth, Trust and integrity in God to ask God to make that happen. 

with love, hugs, sugars and more love, 

my beautiful girls I love you,

love your mommy, 

forever 💜💜💜💜

xoxoxo

From generations before - we can carry on blessing or we can carry a curse

Proverbs 3:9-16 

Honor the Lord from your wealth

And from the first of all your produce;

So your barns will be filled with plenty

And your vats will overflow with new wine.

My sons and daughters, do not reject the discipline of the Lord

Or loathe His reproof,

For whom the Lord loves He reproves,

Even as the father corrects the sons and daughters in whom He delights.

How blessed is the son or daughter who finds wisdom

And the sons and daughters who gains understanding.

For a son or daughters insight is better than the profit of silver

And a son or daughters insight better than fine gold.

Wisdom is more precious than jewels;

And nothing you desire compares with her.

Long life is in her right hand;

In her left hand are riches and honor.

  This has been Truth passed down through the ages and generations.  We don't see it this way because in the physical world we are taught to pass down traditions.  Let's face it some of those traditions can be worthy, some not so much.  You have to ask yourself- what is the intent behind it?  Your intent speaks a lot to itself - and to others as well.  Your intent can even lie to itself.  

  Our mandate is to carry down generations of dreams and to work for the glory of God in our mission.  Our mission is why God birthed us into reality so that we could fulfill our mission to share the love of God and the goodness of God on this earth.  Showing and giving love, kindness, and generosity that are from God.  So from generations before us we inherit dreams.  

  

 In this generation we are to make sowing love, goodness, kindness and generosity our mandate and our destiny.  We are to make the dream reality.  

  It is through each generation that we live our mission, our role to do this and make it happen. Through the previous generations we inherit our Truth and our philosophy and as we gain experience we inherit wisdom and our true purpose for being here.  

 While there are things that are in the physical and family -  our best generational qualities are spiritual.  Others can teach us their generational inheritance but in reality we are to have our own.  In fact God expects us to have our own. It is how we serve God and give to this mission that God has created us for during this generation. 

  In looking at generational inheritance there are those who believe in worldly pursuits - generational curses can happen as well. These are things contrary to what God wants for our mission.  These generational curses can be things such as pursuing for money, for self, for attention from others, pride, deceit, lying and to harm or hurt others.  These are not generational inheritances these are cultural and generations of people who have carried baggage of trauma and hurt from the past generations and they use it deceptively to hurt and harm others.  People are destroying their spouse, their children, their families - and many more.  This is a world health epidemic and a spiritual crisis or Armageddon. 

  I'm reminded in Genesis ( the beginning) God says He will bless those who bless and curse those who curse.  There are many who seem to be attaining a false blessing while doing horrible, unspeakable things to others and their own children, and family.  But know that God is changing and rewriting the false narratives that are being written.  Being full of pride, deceit, lying and causing intentional trauma to the children of God no matter what age they are - God is not happy with this generation.  God isn't about control or manipulation.  God doesn't bless those who steal from Him whether it be monetary, or physical.  God doesn't hide anything.  God is truth.  God isn't about winning attention or being popular with culture or family.  God is clear there will be no other gods before Him.  

  Genesis 12:3 And I will bless them that bless you, and curse him that curses you: and in you shall all families of the earth be blessed.

  My prayer for our Natascha and our Abigaile is that you continue in your lives with what you were taught in our home in our generation. 

 We taught you to love and Honor God first and foremost before anyone.  

 We taught you to both honor your dad and I (mom) .  To honor your mom and your dad means that you were born unto us, God trusted your very lives with us.  He trusted our values that we spoke, our commitments To God first and that each of us committed to you to care for you, and we vowed this before God - to God.  Honoring your mom and dad is showing that you honor us in your daily lives by living and acting out the morals, values and principals of how God says to honor each of us. 

  When your dad and I agreed to have children of our own and God honored that  by giving us Abigaile and Natascha.  He blessed your dad and I with Natascha and Abigaile.

    When your dad and I spoke and agreed that we chose to live with God as the head of our home, our lives, our spouse, our children and how we lived our lives- God HONORED that. 

 When we committed to each other that you both would be raised with values and morals of Godly character and wisdom and teaching - God honored that. 

 All of these are commitments and covenants to one another with God - God HONORED that. 

 When your dad and I spoke about how we wanted our children raised we agreed to the ways of God.  God first.  For your dad to be the provider of the home, to provide for our family - for me, and for you and Abigaile.  We were to give first Tithe and provision to our family. God honored that.  

 We agreed that I would stay at home to care for you and Abigaile , to educate you at home, to care for your medical and health needs.  These were commitments and vows made to one another and made to God to care for Abigaile and Natascha. God honored that.  

God always had provision for our family living under the commitment to one another and to God.  God honored that. 

My prayer for you is to remain and remember the lessons, skills and the intent of what I have taught you based in the word of God.  And I give praise, Honor and glory to God, who has Honored these.  

I have always taught you the ways of God, not religion and have taught you to love and have compassion to others. 

I have taught you to Honor God first.  

I have taught you to honor your mom and your dad.  Honor is a covenant made to God and before God.   

I have taught you to not harm or hurt others.  To show compassion when others hurt - we don't have to always understand why.  I have taught you to give to others when we can give , but we must give to our own family first so we can survive - to be able to give to others.  

I have taught you to show love toward others even when they break their commitments to God, break their commitments and vows to one another, even their own family. 

God honored all of these. 

  Love is not a feeling - it is a commitment and a vow before God Almighty Himself.  When people break those commitments to others and they are harmed - those same commitments are broken to God.  it grieves God to see His children hurt.  I pray that you remember what I have taught to you.  I pray that you know it is and was in good faith.  It is these things that will allow your blessing or your cursing to become reality.  

  I love you and miss you - Abigaile and Natascha - so much that my heart burns- it hurts- it pains and grieves-  there is no dagger that can go ever go deep enough in my soul and rip my heart out than the one that has been done in all of this.  

  I refuse to be a victim to it and will spend the rest of my days showing support and educating others to this terrible trauma. 

  I Honor God and carry a blessing from generation to generation because of my love and Honor for God and I choose to bless Him and His generations.   

  Mommy loves you and misses you very much.  I pray that God will bring you back to me - I am not a home state making you a ward of the state - nor was my covenant and commitment to God or your dad of lies and deceit.  

  But I am you given birth mother and God birthed you both to me.  You are bones of my bones and you are flesh of my flesh.  No one can ever abduct or steal that from me or from you.  

with love, hugs, sugars and more love 

your mommy,

forever,  💓💓💓💓

xoxoxo

  Exodus 20:12 Honor your father and mother, so that your days may be long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.

The Mighty waves and storms of life cannot extinguish the love in our soul ...

by Emily Dickinson 

“Hope” is the thing with feathers -

That perches in the soul -

And sings the tune without the words -

And never stops - at all -

And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard -

And sore must be the storm -

That could abash the little Bird

That kept so many warm -

I’ve heard it in the chillest land -

And on the strangest Sea -

Yet - never - in Extremity,

It asked a crumb - of me.

 In the world and culture that we live in today there is turmoil, confusion, fear, and trauma.  In the midst of this it is like a storm raging at sea.  All you can see are the waves that are the size of mountains and fierce - never letting up one after another.  

  You rock back and forth in the storms of life, a torrential storm, one that is like a hurricane and you wonder if it will ever stop.  As you watch death and destruction all around you the entire foundation is collapsing underneath your very soul.  You grasp at what you think is realty - but what you think is reality -is no longer real and it collapses right before your very eyes.  

 Once the foundation has fallen you and your soul begin a free fall.  Subject to every pain, trauma and life event that is along the way.  

 A flood of fear and pain that won't cease.  Putting you at risk to drown in the sea of culture and life.  The world and culture we live in today is a flood of confusion and illusion.  

  Ultimately the waters of confusion can not drown the soul if the soul is attached to the Creator and when we live as the Creator says we should.  Instead the waters can lift you above the giant waves so that your soul and your body can be lifted higher and higher.  

  This is Truth - that we were in fact created for.  

  My prayer as your momma to Abigaile and Natascha is that I love you both very much and I miss you both very much.  My heart is pierced for you and the trauma that you have gone through during this.  Everything including the trauma that you feel wounded - I feel doubly wounded by betrayal , lack of trust, and helpless.  

  But know that I am keeping my sight on God and His purpose. When you both were born your dad and I both prayers together for you both, prayers that we dedicated you both to God for safe keeping and for Gods purpose of your mission in life. 

  So it is in fact that God will protect you in these storms and allow you both to rise above the waves.  My prayer is that you don't allow concern with others drowning - but instead keep your eyes on your life preserver - God.

  

Psalm 121:7 The LORD will protect you from all evil; He will keep your soul.

Proverbs 3:26 The Lord will keep you safe. He will not let you fall into a trap.

  Sadly, evil and storms have a culture and a following just as God and the refuge from the storms have a culture and following.  I believe it is best to avoid the cultures and followings and take instruction from the Creator who is the source.  My prayer is that you can have insight into this and to see the Truth.  

I love you our sweet , beautiful girls and I pray that God will intervene and I pray to see you soon.  

with love, hugs, sugars, and more love, 

your momma,

forever,  💜💜💜 

xoxoxo