If you say Go, we will go. If you say wait, we will wait

  Wanted to do a quick blog for now to say that while we are trying to get things organized and figure out exactly which end is up topside we will do more of an update and resume therapies and treatments.

If You Say Go - Vineyard Music 

God certainly amazes me, always! It is in our darkest hour, our trial our temptation that God just flourishes!  We feel so low like we are crawling but know that God is carrying us.  My little Abigaile is doing great.  We have been working on getting school organized and caught up after all the treatment months. We are just tired.  It will get better I do know this! It always does.

  Our challenge right now is that our current homeowner wants to sell his home, we feel that he wishes we would move on (as repairs are getting neglected and not paid attention to). That is okay if God wants us here He will work it out. If not, we shall move on.  I am not shaken. Psalm 62:2 says He only is my rock and my salvation, My stronghold; I shall not be shaken. AMEN.

ACTION STATEMENT: Acts 2:25 David said about him: "'I saw the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.  

I believe that no matter what comes at us, God is in control.  It is handled.  No Fear!  We are to command the devil beneath our feet and do it with assurance and tell the devil to flee.  

James 4:7 Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.  

Disaster preparedness : Ephesians 6:13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

We are putting our God before us and telling the devil to flee. We are preparing by putting on our armour of God daily and standing our ground!  

Evil will always come, whether it has a spiritual leg to stand on - is up to you!

always a servant
always praying

The absolute hand of God has touched my child I am so humbled by His forever presence.

My inspiration 

Paris 

Just another Day in Paradise ...

Lord, its me again.... 
  I'm really trying to keep it together but when I see things like this it really hurts and it 

really humbles my heart.  I am so thankful we have had God when there has been no one 

else! I am so glad He is there even though we may not see Him, or know that He is there 

because the very pit of our gut is just wrenching because, well we are still human. 


  Today was one of those days. We are thankful for what we have, thankful for Gods grace and His never- ending LOVE. We are thankful for one another we are thankful for all that we have and thankful that it belongs to God. I am just "THANKFUL",

   There are days like today that the emotions just really get to me. I am tired.  It is difficult having this road for over 9 years now that there has been no break and no vacation and no time away for me.  Really, no time away. Before you jump to conclusions that I want time away from my family I don't - I want a real vacation with my family.  I am tired of work 24/7 and no time for rest or fun.  It makes me angry and it makes me bitter.  

  Today was a bitter and hurtful day to me. I have made no secret of saying that I felt we have not had family and friends support during all of this with Abigaile.  I will say that there are a couple of friends who have been supportive of us even if it is to pray for us. There are many including family who have not.  

  It is difficult enough to try and care full time for a child to make decisions for her and our family and to be her private caregiver, her private chef ( I don't mean throwing a box full of dinner in the microwave) her nutrition and dietary requirements go beyond what most people can even comprehend and I'm not talking GFCF from a box or a special diet. It is a little more complicated than this.  It takes a lot of time, planning and sometimes days of preparation and cooking. I don't get to look at someone else to do my planning or make suggestions for me. I also coordinate her treatments , her care and logistics of her treatments and therapy. I really have no time left. I also have stayed in college obtaining my degree to further help my child so that I can understand how to better meet her needs. I am her full time teacher.  The school system can not guarantee her safety, meaning that they can not meet her needs. This is much more extensive than most people realize.  I am blessed by being paid but it is not enough.  

  The birthdays for the girls have been without friends (we had some friends who were part of our lives in Arkansas - and have met some really wonderful people since moving here) but it is difficult to orchestrate a birthday party or other get together unless the family is going through the same as us. I don't expect everyone to understand this, I realize more the majority does not understand. 

Today I saw a blow up bouncey house a couple of doors down in the front yard. I saw Abigaile slowly migrating toward the sofa. She loves to look out the window and watch all the people go by. Her name for playmates or friends (which she has really never had or known) is Boppee.  We saw children arriving at the party and starting to jump on the bouncey house. She sat there for almost 3 hours, wouldn't move watching and talking (chattering) and laughing. She was saying "hi" to all the children who were walking up the sidewalk to go to the party (these children were all about 6-10 years old) her age. It was just a raw and horrible feeling. She has only had one birthday party and there was no one to play with her that other kids were at. In the past we had the girls birthday parties together so there would at least be kids at Abigailes party otherwise there would be no one but her dad and I and her sister.  I watched her little eyes with anticipation as each child arrived and then she watched eagerly, then she would chatter to Natascha and I .. it was just heart breaking. I am thankful that she had a hope, a hope to play with these kids. 
I know how difficult to have what you call "normal" children (kids with our limitations) but people really miss the mark and teach their children horrible things when they don't explain to their children that our children with limitations even if they are temporary or not can play also.  I refuse to be bitter and shame on those people who have nothing to do with my child especially if you are family.  We are better off without those negative people in our lives. Those people who judge me for staying at home with my children instead of having a job outside the home I am doing what God called me to do and if you don't like it, I don't care.  The girls know who love them and who cares for them and they also know there are not people in their lives and I refuse to make them like people just because they have a family label on them.  I don't teach my children that ugliness. 
  
  This is the life of a vaccine injured family, not just a child - each and every one of our family members have been injured and have sacrificed for helping to make our Abigaile well. 

Please God heal our hearts and make us whole- 

Jer. 30:17 says, 
For I will restore you to health And I will heal you of your wounds,' declares the LORD, 'Because they have called you an outcast, saying: "It is Zion; no one cares for her."'

Thank you God that you bind up our wounds to heal us and make us whole. 

living with a servants heart

Happy New Year 2013

  It is from our family to yours we wish you a Happy and prosperous New Year 2013!

    I can safely say that this New Years Eve and New Years Day we did nothing. We are beat after two full years in Southern California with no help doing therapy or treatments of some sort and sometimes multiple every single Monday through Friday. This year will be much better planned. I am still waiting to hear from all the treatment and therapy sources on their availability and pricing and as soon as I hear from them well then we will be hitting the ground again. However, this year is a little different. We currently only have until May ( our 16th wedding anniversary) in this house. It is a great house but we need to clean out and it looks like move on. We thought that our job prospects would be better by now, we both have jobs but it just isn't enough. God has a plan, yes He does! We don't know what it is yet, but His Word says that it is to make us prosper in all things.  

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jer. 29:11. 

That is all I need to know. Bless God and bless His Holy name !

Happy New Year! 

Merry Christmas

 Well it is getting close to the closing and end of another year.  Goodbye 2012 as we remember the season to celebrate Christ the Messiah and what He has done for us.  When we moved to California 2 years ago in November 2010 we really had no idea what was in store for us as individuals, for Abigaile or for our family.  Never sell God short, He is amazing. I believe that what comes out of our mouth , what we speak, what we believe, and our actions play a significant role in our lives. If we are bitter we sow bitterness even sometimes trying to correct it.  We also sow our fear.  My only comment plain and clear is that it gives the devil a foothold and well beneath my feet satan and get thee behind me you liar!  

  We started out 2010 with our feet running- we stayed initially in a vacation rental as we didn't know the area.  We then moved to a rental further up the hill (this was because of availability and price).  We continued to do some form or shape of therapy Monday through Friday therapy or treatments every single day of the week non stop.   We did rTMS the Transmagnetic brain stimulation at the Brain Treatment Center, we did Applied Behavior Therapy, we did hyperbaric oxygen therapy.  We also looked for employment in between and home schooled.  This year we have done all of those again except we have not done the rTMS but started a very aggressive Polish therapy that is Monday through Friday 5 hours per day plus driving.  We have seen major improvements with Abigaile. Her gross and fine motor skills she has more strength, endurance and has began walking with crutches. We are really just starting to see the fruit of our labor.  This next year we will start a new regimen of therapies and treatments. I have already started planning for next year.  

  I will start by saying that our funds are dwindling.  It is crazy expensive in California.  We both have jobs on top of our rehabbing Abigaile and it is not enough. We really can't continue at the price we are. It is mentally and physically grueling.  We need rest and a vacation that we haven't had since we got married over Fifteen years ago.  We have spent the past nine years rehabbing our child from a vaccine injury and we still have a long ways to go.  

  We can no longer afford living expenses here as we are not getting any help from agencies, or state or anywhere else that benefit our daily living costs.  We are praying about where God wants us to go from here. So we are looking at job options elsewhere, cost of living, and how far it is from California so that we can travel 3-4 times per year to maintain Abigailes care. It is a terrible decision to make and not one that we are taking lightly. We just don't have the funds plain and simple. We are just tired.  We have the next six months living expenses and therapy and treatments and that is it.

  Our hopes and prayers are that you have a Merry Christmas may God grant you the desires of your heart. I know nothing is impossible with God!  Have a prosperous and Happy New Year.  I will consider the last two years we have spent in Southern California an absolute blessing from God. He has just melted my heart with His unconditional love during this season of our life. 

many many blessings,

Paris 

Little loaf of wonder bread

  This is all I will call it at this point.  There is nothing that ceases to amaze me about this girl.  She and her sister have been sick this week and not feeling well I'm really thankful just to see my babes playing.
  I say a loaf of wonder bread because I never have to wonder really about her not being inquisitive. She is my little miracle "wonder" girl!  I thank God for her well-being and healing every day. It is not always easy caring for a child who has so many special needs but she is sooooo worth it!  She was sick this week and not her inquisitive little self, its been a very long week but I would say by where she is right now and what she is doing she is happy.

  Id say she is ready to start school back again, wouldn't you?





Blessings flow,
Paris ( the most blessed momma ever )

Please stay tuned.... updates are in progress..and pictures

   This therapy lifestyle is hectic, it requires lots of time, effort, and patience.  I want to be able to share Abigaile's progress (good and bad) to encourage others.  However, it is a lot of time and effort to try and get all the information together. Please visit some of the web sites on the left hand side of the blog to see some of the therapies, our Dr., and don't hesitate to call them and let them know that you saw their web site on our page.

  Our days are spent doing 5-7 hours per day of intense therapy with Abigaile, and then usually another treatment on top of that so it makes for a very long day. This is five days per week Monday through Friday as well. It is time consuming and not a typical lifestyle. I will not lie to you and tell you that it is easy to do. It isn't.  We have dedicated our season right now as a family and are committed to do what it takes to get her well, and get her body functioning.  It is also a great deal of expense and sacrifice as we deal with many, many issues.  We are thankful to God for the provision He has given to us, we are thankful to God as well as He has put many awesome people in our path for Abigaile.

  We currently are doing Polfit- check them out I am pulling video's and pictures of Abigailes progress here. We started in June of this year (2012) and have done ** several weeks of therapy ( I'll edit this as soon as I can add it up on the calendar) I just changed schedules so that we aren't grouping our weeks all in one group. I am spreading them out. Abigaile loves her Therapists ( I think she must have started even understanding when they speak in Polish, as she comes home and tells us all about it)  This is simply for Abigailes needs to be met.

  Abigaile has been doing Hyperbaric Oxygen therapy as well at The Center for New Medicine with Dr. Jolly and the girls Mimi and Debbie. She has a schedule of 70 minutes in the tank with one of our family members who always goes in with her. She never "dives alone".  This is for seizure precaution which by the way has never happened. Thank you Lord.

  It has been two years ago this month since we have visited the wonderful  folks at The Brain Treatment Center.  We recently did an EEG just as a curious update (because of Abigailes progress) and got some wonderful news and progress report.  I will post the EEG under the tab of TMS. I will need to check with the professionals ( our team of HBOT, TMS, and of course Dr. J) before we can say which therapy or treatment it was due to. We will be going back soon just waiting now to schedule and try to work everything in.
 
 It is going to be a busy rest of the year.  We desperately need time off, and have need for a vacation. If none of the rest of us deserve it I know for a fact that Abigaile deserves it.
  She is my walking, soon to be talking, seizure free (controlled environment) 9 year old girl.  We still have a very long ways to go but my baby is alive and making progress with that I attribute to God, His Grace, and His Mercy and that He is alive and well and still performing miracles today.

Blessings,
Paris 

Right to protect our Medical Free Choice

Dear Governor Brown,
  My family moved to the state of California 2 years ago in October.  The reason that we moved here is because of the medical care and more opportunity for our daughter who was injured by vaccines.  You see our case is a proven vaccine injury, and not speculation. We spent a few years traveling to different states to get care for her. There is more diversity in care to meet her needs in California.  We gave away most of our belongings, packed our rental truck and traveled 1600 miles. This was initially temporary because we weren't sure if the treatments would work or not.  After a few months of treatments several hours per day (5-7 hrs) and mostly 5 days per week to help rehabilitate our child to health we decided this was going to take more than a few months. We made the decision once our FMLA ran out and my husband ending up losing his job to stay here because of the quality and diversity of care for her. We sacrificed that and it has been more than worth it.
  I no longer give my child immunizations because my daughter had a serious adverse reaction that almost cost her life.  We felt that after even looking at the insert for the vaccines, since we were not able to show which vaccine actually caused the reaction, that it was in her best interest not to give any more vaccines.  We talked this over with her Physician and Pediatrician at the time as well as Neurologist and decided in our daughter’s best interest we would no longer give vaccines.  I have worked in the nursing profession prior to having children and since the reaction I have spent many hours doing research on the safety and efficacy of vaccines. If my daughter were to get another vaccine she could die. The way that AB2109 affects my family and my child is that I have already been educated on vaccines.  I don't need to take my child to another Dr. to tell me what I already know. It is invasive and my daughter already has a list of Dr.s and Physicians that are in other states who disagree with having to sign an exemption because it is not required in their state. It is an unnecessary expense for knowledge we have already researched extensively.  I don’t need a Dr who doesn’t know my child and who is ignorant of vaccine reactions I have already been through that and so has my child. I’m tired of her being traumatized by a group of medical Dr.s who say that vaccine reactions don’t happen. They do happen why else would the symptoms of the reactions be on package inserts even the drug makers aren’t that ignorant. If your child has a reaction, there is NO APPROVED TEST to find out if that happened. You spend thousands and hundreds of thousands of dollars already to find out what happened, NOT covered by insurance. My daughter is NOT autistic but has had many other debilitating and life-threatening issues that we still work on 9 years later. This bill is an invasion of my rights as a parent and places our family in a financial hardship as well as places our immuno-compromised child who was injured by a vaccine through more unnecessary Dr visits that we spent the last 9 years doing already. This bill demands & forces parents against their will for time, money and research that parents have already done. If you wish to give parents more education then give it at well visits every time, isn’t that what well visits are for? Put it on the C.P.S. and Health and Human Services web sites. If families receive public assistance, give it to them then and ask them to sign in? I’m sure that you would get a more positive response from all parents. Don’t you think? I’d like to invite you to my daughters website it is somewhat incomplete due to the 7-9 hours of therapy per day to fix the damage that the vaccines did.  My daughter’s prognosis was that IF she lived she would be a vegetable, if not she would die. Thank God she is neither but it isn’t just because of the Dr.s we worked with I have been active in my child’s care and making recommendations as the Dr.s and specialists have.  Please VETO AB2109 for the benefit of the child(ren). There are parents who love and care and research for their children.  We do not live in a third world country. We have a wealth of knowledge, resources and parents who desire to help their children succeed. VETO AB2109 for Abigaile and for other kids who need individualized care. All kids need individual care they aren't cookie cutters, otherwise why do Dr.s do individual health care plans for each patient. Children are no different.

Sincerely,
Paris Golec     http://abigailesstory.blogspot.com/

Happy Birthday little Sweet Pea ! We love you !

 My little sweet pea Abigaile was born just after 11:00 am.  We were over-joyed at the thoughts of another little one for Allen and I who prayed for the baby to be healthy and well, and for Natascha to have a baby (sibling to play with) we did not know what sex.  

  We have our then friends Matt and Deanna who watched Natascha and took her to church for us so she didn't miss services and she could still have fun. She slept at their house for a few hours and later that day she had a baby sister. 

  Abigaile, you name stands for strength, look at Abigaile in the Bible who was a woman of great strength this I know that you are and will be a great woman of strength one day. 

  Abigaile you have filled our lives with Joy, Happiness and faith!  

  We have watched you from getting injured from the vaccines, and not knowing if you would live one minute to the next day but we always had faith that God is not a killer, God gives life. He gave you life and He gave you to our family.  You are an awesome testimony of healing and hope and Joy!  

  Even though you won't have and never have had what everyone else knows to be a normal Birthday we ( your dad, and I and Natascha ) will do the best we can to play with you, make you happy and have a lot of fun with you on your birthday. 

  My prayers for you is life, happiness, to overflow with Joy. I pray for exceeding Joy for you the rest of your days. I pray for protection from the ugliness of the dark and principalities of dark. 

  I pray for you that you fulfill Gods call on your life. My prayer is abundant life until it overflows.  You have given us some of the most trying past 9 years but I would never trade them for anything. I just wish that you would have never had to get injured from the vaccine that is my greatest wish of all. 

  I pray little sweet pea that your day is blessed beyond measure and that God richly blesses you today and many more days to come. 

love you sweet pea,

your mommy <3

Stay tuned ...

  I am in the process of updating Abigaile's blogspot to all the great things that have been happening.  We are also super busy in the respect that we live therapy, treatments, making food, school.  The therapy and treatments with drive time end up being a eight ( 8 ) - ten (10 ) hour day.  We have 7 - 8 hours alone of just therapy.  We spend weekends cooking and doing laundry now.  The three day weekend is great because we can spend a day with laundry, cleaning house and cooking and actually rest a day. Our Labor Day today will be spent ( at least part of it) in the pool.

Happy Labor Day everyone !

http://www.parentalrights.org/index.asp?SEC={8098CD56-8CF5-4A53-9978-30ED8E47A0FA}&Type=B_BASIC

http://www.parentalrights.org/index.asp?SEC={8098CD56-8CF5-4A53-9978-30ED8E47A0FA}&Type=B_BASIC

The overall Story

This is my daughters story her name is Abigaile.  In 2003 she was vaccine injured. We are proven, not speculation. This vaccine reaction has changed has affected our entire immediate family and has affected each of our lives. Our daughter with in 72 hours started excessive crying, her eyes darting, her body swelling. Her head and her entire body began to swell. She had a 54 minutes seizure that the ER Dr. walked out of the room, didn't medicate her or anything and said she wouldn't make it. I don’t think at the time that we even began to know how our lives would change. We first would be denied that anything was wrong with our daughter from the Pediatrician who gave her the vaccines. Our daughter had 2 life-threatening seizures after the vaccine. We were told with our child having seizures and her body seemed to be swelling by the minute (this we would learn later was her having an anaphylactic reaction to the vaccine).  Get in your car and drive almost 4 hours to talk with a Pediatric Neurologist at Children’s Hospital so You can find out what is wrong with your daughter. So late at night we are driving 4 hours after my husband gets off work to Children’s to find out what happened with our baby who is now 5 months old. The Neurologist took one look and admitted her. Our diagnosis included Encephalopathy, developmental delays, left eye exotropia, seizure disorder, malnourishment (later would determine it was actually malabsorption) the list was huge but we didn’t have a diagnosis. Every professional we came in contact with asked about if she had vaccines and we said yes. The time correlated, yes. There was not one professional medical Doctor or Specialist that we came in contact with that would admit it. We spent the first 5 years of her life doing trauma care for her. We spent the first 5 years of her life going to specialists, Doctors, and Genetics and Chromosomal testing. All came back negative. We (my husband and I) finally determined it was vaccines when the Genetics physician @ Children’s took off his lab coat and said “if it were my child here’s what I think?” We went to our Pediatrician told her of our findings asked her what she thought she said she didn’t know but thought it could be. I asked her and her nurse to file a VAERS report, they REFUSED. I ended up going to the County Health Dept. so they would file a VAERS by a nurse who didn’t know our child or us. We were given X number of words to explain what happened. I asked if someone would be contacting us, the nurse said no not likely they usually don’t unless they have a question.  Our daughter was very sick and wasting away we found she was not absorbing her fats amongst all the other issues.  We ended up leaving our Pediatrician to go with another and found help online through the NVIC.org. Over the past almost 9 years now we have gone through numerous Dr.s, Pediatricians, and other Health professionals most were caring but we were left each time that no one knew how to treat our child for vaccine injury. We had to obtain prescriptions from the Dr long distance that was treating her and go to Dr.s in our area, as our insurance wouldn’t pay for the Dr. who was actually treating her.  We did find a fantastic Pediatrician who would have to treat our daughter long-distance via phone and computer as we no longer had money, or savings this injury had taken everything we had and saved.  Our house went into foreclosure twice we eventually sold it, as we couldn’t keep it up or the payments with all the medical debt. We lost cars, and my husband eventually lost his job. We haven’t had a vacation in 9 years. We have friends and family who no longer speak to us, as they can’t understand why we don’t buy gifts at Christmas or any other time of year. My husband has not been able to get a job since. Our daughter has Multiple Chemical Disorder that was caused by the vaccine due to an acidosis that happened. She can’t eat anything with preservatives, dyes, or flavored. She can only wear 100 % cotton clothing and shoes. She has never had a store bought Birthday cake or had a normal birthday party. She can’t go to public school as they can’t provide a safe environment for her or feed her. When we go to the hospital we prepare all of her foods in advance and have to take them with us. If it is out of town or we travel we prepare all of her foods in advance and freeze them.  There is no store, restaurant or any other facility that we can take her to eat at. She has seizures from preservatives and scented items.  Someone’s laundry detergent can cause her to seizure. Our family’s resources have been devastated and family members no longer speak to us because we can’t pay back loans from years ago for the foreclosure on our home. We have to purchase all of our foods Organic, no corn, no soy and no fertilizers, no dairy, and no meat that has even eaten corn. We go every other month and purchase from an organic co-op that we are members of to buy meats for our family and shop a local farm for produce. Our daughter has seizures from it even if the fertilizers are organic. Our daughter has a medical trust to help pay for her medical care the rest of the family can’t afford medical care. We can’t get state insurance as we can’t afford the deductibles or we are denied most plans because of our daughters trust even though we can’t personally use the trust. A judge and Trustee determine what we can and can’t spend for our daughters care. We personally benefit nothing from this trust.  Our days are spent with therapy from sun up until sun down, we have to prepare from scratch all of her foods including breads, tortillas, pita chips (you won’t believe the foods she can eat) she can’t play with other children if she gets ill, there are NO antibiotics that she can take as they are all bound in corn and corn solids. We get her meds from a compound pharmacy (more costs).  We have to home school both of our children because of the sick issues. We have to home school our daughter because the schools can’t provide food or a safe environment for her.  Our daughter has anaphylactic seizures to crayons, paints, and glue. The vaccine injury changed all of our lives. Our daughter was that percentage of .0005 that a severe life-threatening reaction that rarely happens. We were told she would never walk, talk, and she would be a vegetable the rest of her life. Thank you for hearing our story it is a small portion but this is the reality of vaccines in our lives and how it has impacted our family. We are thankful for our daughter and the progress and recovery we have made with her but it has been at a sacrifice of the rest of our family. You truly find whom your friends and family are when you go through this.