1,216 days May 21, 2017 - September 18, 2020 Alienated and estranged from her mom

  Abigaile sounds lethargic and drugged every time now on our supervised phone call. There is no response or engagement in our call. I can hear in her voice she is giving up. She no longer has life in her mind or her soul.  

What kind of person kills a child’s soul ?

May it be Your will,  God, that enmity will end and this new year will bring peace for us and the entire world.

May it be your will, God, that this year be full of joyful dates and meaningful relationships.

Love, hugs, sugars and more love,

Mommy

Xoxo

❤️💕

1204 days since May 21, 2017 on the eve of Abigaile’s 17th birthday

Written : 09/06/2020 -  I wanted to post this tonight to let Abigaile know that her mom is thinking about her and her mommy loves her her mommy misses her very much she is my life.  

   On this day 17 years ago we lived on a street named West End Street in Springdale Arkansas. I was very much pregnant at nine months and have been the healthiest pregnancy I had. We had no idea if  this baby would be a girl or a boy and it didn’t really matter because we knew that the baby was a child of God we knew that the baby was loved and wanted  and the gender didn’t matter to us because the baby is a gift from God always. 

   So on this day we were in an old farmhouse that we had bought to remodel and call home. We had completed really almost all the repairs we started out that we were going to remodel which ended up being renovated. Being mommy I wanted to make sure that the house was warm and clean and ready for my new baby. 

   It was an old farmhouse but it was beautiful had a gorgeous lot big mature trees and nestled in between a subdivision and some older mature homes. It had a fairly long driveway with flowerbeds all around and we had put in a Goldfish pond just in front of the living room window and the porch. There was a huge flower bed of Yellow and Orange irises.  Our daughter Natascha‘s pet bunny named Clover would be laid to rest and we would make him a stone with the name Clover on it and bury him. 

   But on this night everything had to be perfect because according to the schedule they were talking about an emergency C-section to bring this baby home. It was scheduled with intention of thinking that we could finish the house so we loaded up our little camper trailer we had outside sitting in the big driveway.  I had just purchased a few gallons well maybe 5 gallons or more of the most beautiful Linen colored paint to finish painting the floors upstairs. The only room left to paint was the playroom and then everything would be complete for our new baby and for our new family and our new home. 

   I finished painting, yes I had on a ventilator mask.  I love to paint a paint anything I painted peoples houses their bathrooms whatever for free just because it’s therapy for me. I love to paint.  I love art also and that kind of painting as well but I love painting houses and painting rooms it makes me happy. So I was painting and painting and painting and we had actually planned to sleep in our little camper trailer in the driveway because of the paint fumes and we thought it would be kind of fun to sleep in there for a few days while we let all the paint fumes out of the house and so that it didn’t hurt me or the baby or our daughter Natascha. 

   So I started painting and I painted one coat and everybody else was already outside in the camper trailer and we had everything in there for the next few nights and then I painted the second layer and got the second layer on I stopped I cleaned all my tools I got ready for bed and I went to bed. 

   My Abigaile tummy was not as big as I was with our first daughter but I was feeling pretty uncomfortable being nine months pregnant. I started to doze off and I kept looking at the ultrasound picture that I had sitting beside the bed and just staring at the beautiful little being on the picture. I could see her little head her arms her hands her legs even her feet even though we couldn’t tell what gender and it really didn’t matter what gender to us at all. We just wanted a healthy baby because our babies are a gift from God. 

   I started dozing off and I think I must’ve taken a short nap it couldn’t have been long and I woke up and I was very uncomfortable I couldn’t sleep my back was hurting. I got so excited about having a new baby that I couldn’t sleep. The more that I tried to sleep the worse that it got and the more than my back started bothering me.  I woke up the girls dad and I said - you know I’m pretty sure that we need to call our friends and have them to come and pick up Natascha.   Natascha can spend the rest of the night with them and you and I are going to the hospital to have our baby. 

   We had two names picked out,  Abigaile for a girl and I honestly have forgotten the name for the boy.  We got to the hospital after we met with our friends who picked up Natascha.  We told Deanna and Matt that we would call them tomorrow or it would’ve been today this was about 3 AM and we asked them if we could drop Natascha off at their home and we did. Natascha spent the remainder of the night ( well morning ) at their house.  When we got to the hospital I found out that my doctor was not on call.  He was out of town and so the on-call doctor came in and asked me how I was doing.  I said I’m going to have a baby today and he said that your scheduled in a few days.   I said no -  I’m going to have the baby today.

  So Abigaile was breach and bottom first and off to the emergency c-section.  Next I felt the scalpel - so it was too late to increase the meds so they delivered Abigaile I said hello and met our new daughter told her I loved her.  The next thing I'm hearing is the Anesthesiologist telling me he is going to knock me out.  I said okay.  This was about 11:00 am that morning.  I was being slapped in the face in recovery and had cold water washcloth, under a warming blanket.  I found out later that I had actually been close to over-dosed.  I learned they gave me narcan in recovery. It was dark when they took me back to my room.  I finally got to meet out little girl but not until after they had told us Abigaile had been given vaccines and eye drops.  They also told us that she was very sick and spiked a fever.  We later learned she was Group B Strep positive - and that they should have never given her the vaccines.  We spent several days additional in the hospital due to this.  

  We went home but not until we were scheduled with Bili light and lab draws daily almost two weeks.  

  Then the nightmare continued that I was fighting for this little girls life since day one - and until she was finally starting to improve after therapies and treatments in California.  The vaccine battle took me over Seven years- getting Abigaile stable and finally weaning her from meds and getting her to show progress with diet, therapy etc was almost ten years. 

   I'm guessing that having Abigaile well, happy and healthy was not good enough for people who were not in her life.  So on May 21,2017 her dad decided to abduct and Interstate her and her sister.  

  It was alleged that I was abusive and neglectful.   I'm guessing if you feel that being a full time stay at home mom who is the primary attachment and caregiver, home learning with and without curriculum based on the Childs progress.  I also managed their healthcare, trained in Abigailes therapies so if she ran low with funds from the vaccine entitlement that I researched, filed Vaers for, and have advocated for Abigaile her entire life - I don't consider this abuse or being neglectful.  It sounds like fraud and false accusations with no evidence to me.  Check Abigailes medical chart and her progress notes - tell me what that looks like.  I was also accused of not giving Abigaile her meds - even though I stayed at home and gave her meds.  

  If you referring how Abigailes life and her health was endangered in May 21,2017 - look at her medical record from that day on.  And refer to this https://www.psychologicalscience.org/publications/observer/obsonline/how-mother-child-separation-causes-neurobiological-vulnerability-into-adulthood.html#.

In addition to the numerous articles that speak to the trauma of a special needs child being forced from a primary attachment.  I was our daughters primary attachment, her primary caregiver.  I realize that culture hates this but this is what the girls dad and I chose for our children prior to marriage and in having children.  https://guilfordjournals.com/doi/pdfplus/10.1521/pdps.2017.45.4.542.

Our daughter having special needs and having made substantial progress with me with therapy and growth and development.  She was then forced into trauma in May 21,2017 and has been estranged from me for no justifiable reason.  

  Being a stay at home mom and caring our children while educating them at home doesn't constitute abuse or neglect.  And to say that I didn't give our daughter medicine is a bold faced lie- I was the full time attachment who was with her through everything.  This doesn't constitute or equivocate to abuse or neglect.  This has caused tremendous trauma to this little girl and has caused trauma abuse to me and her sister.  

Additional research:  Childhood attachment trauma, Child / Mother Psychological Trauma abuse, Parental alienation. 

Happy Birthday my beautiful Abigaile 

  Your birthday commemorates the day that God created you and said to you as an individual, are unique and irreplaceable. There is no other  person alive, no person who has ever lived, and no person who shall ever live, that can fulfill the specific role in My creation I have entrusted to you..."

  This is the day when you were given the mandate for your mission to help change the world. The day when God entrusted you with the mission to challenge a world that is so hostile spirituality and to be able to transform it into God's private garden sanctuary. And in accomplishing this goal you were given the ability to achieve incredible spiritual heights. The kind of heights that are unimaginable to the soul before it was dispatched from its lofty heavenly home to inhabit your physical body.

  Celebrating a birthday is also a demonstration of confidence. The type of confidence that you are and you will continue to be worthy of God's trust. No matter the obstacles, no matter the circumstances, you will persevere and live up to God's expectations of you.

  Fulfilling the commandments of God is the vehicle through which we connect to God.  It is how we are made in His image. 

  That means greater responsibility, but an infinitely greater connection, too. Your birthday is also the anniversary of this awesome occasion. This is reason to be thankful for your birthday. 

  When you were born it was God that  invested within you a soul abounding with talents and qualities.  These talents and qualities of your inner soul are those things God given to you that will help you to complete the mission that God has assigned to you on this earth. 

  On this day you have the ability to accomplish that which might be very difficult on any other day.  I pray that this day you feel a special connection to God.  That you are reminded of how God created you for your mission . Be blessed in Your special day the day that you and your mission was born into existence.  

Love your mommy,

xoxo

My #beloud story for my children - 1199 days of alienation and estrangement

Our beautiful girls Natascha and Abigaile just a month or so prior to abduction and estrangement. 2017.


Our story

My #beloud story 09/01/2020

     My 22 year marriage domestic terror nightmare since 2012- erupted on May 21,2017.  My story is a bit different in that there was no mention of separation or divorce prior to our children being abducted and kidnapped by their biological dad.  We had all lived together until May 21, 2017.  My husband and I since 1996. When our daughters were born in 1998 and 2003 we lived together until May 21,2017 when he abducted and kidnapped our daughters.  

     The past history is that there are addictive behaviors ( I have specific examples ) that were discussed between my husband and I numerous times prior to and during marriage.  There was also extensive inlaw conflict.  My husband and I agreed that we would never expose our children to the addictive behaviors and would remain a home with Godly morals and values.   

    I stayed at home with our children and was their primary attachment and primary caregiver and health care manager.  In early 2017 I asked my husband to seek counseling for these addictive behaviors.  This involved our daughters and I felt it directly involved their safety.  On May 21,2017 he abducted and kidnapped our daughters.

    I contacted the Arlington Texas police dept. who said I needed to let him cool off. If he came back they advised me not to bother him or get him upset. 

    In the days that followed I called numerous times begging the police to file a police report - they refused.  Stating he is biological he can do what he wants.  I called several missing persons agencies ( I have case #s and social workers id #s ) filing cases - they all refused to place an amber alert - refused to do anything because the Arlington police dept. refused to file a police report.  

   I contacted lawyers , domestic violence agencies - he is the biological dad they saw no divorce filing.  

  I had been a stay at home mom for 17 years.  I received no salary, money or compensation for that.  I cared for 14 years for our daughter who I had proven evidence and filed a vaccine injury for that I won in Vaccine injury courts getting entitlement for her for her injuries.  Also establishing Guardianship.  I was left with no money, no transportation , bank account was closed without my knowledge.  Money was being transferred without my permission or knowledge from our daughters Trust checking account to a hidden account # - I could see the transfer in online banking.  Eventually I was evicted from where we had been living.  We were Texas residents. 

  I contacted over 70 agencies including lawyers, attorneys ( no pro bono in Texas for civil courts).  It is all referred back to Legal aid.  Can you guess who used Legal Aid ?  I could not get Legal aid because it was a conflict of interest.  Legal Aid couldn’t tell me why. But I did have a very nice Domestic violence lawyer explain how that happens.  It seems that my husband of over 22 years used legal aid and filed for separation behind my back.  In addition he used the legal aid services.  He had a job with a salary.  I found they used legal aid when he filed for Separation, at Safe haven in Texas. After a 30 day free stay at the Safe Haven child trafficking agency  Dallas, Texas he apparently used funding from Texas and relocated to his moms house in Florida.  This is where he had me served December 2018 almost a year and half later while keeping the whereabouts, not disclosing to me where our children were, and not allowing our daughters to call, text or see me. 

   I had no job, no transportation and no money so I could not afford an attorney or lawyer and could not get legal aid.  My husband had stated that I was crazy and suicidal to the Arlington Police Dept. ( I had no idea what was even going on). I didn’t even realize he was abducting or kidnapping our children.  

  Once the divorce was filed I was told that I would have to hire a lawyer in Florida.  Even though I could prove that he lied, abducted and kidnapped our children.  Legal aid of Texas paid for it through safe haven trafficking agency by rubber stamp of the prosecuting attorney of Tarrant county Texas.  I have multiple agencies, case numbers, reports filed, emails, of agencies such as DHHS and DHHS oversight, State attorney Gen. State auditor, Governor, Domestic organizations who refused to help me other than giving me the local agencies who refused to help me ( because of the domestic lying terrorist who stole our children with no evidence, and nothing justified).  I have been treated like a criminal with no fair trial. This was Texas .  I was given no Due Process in Texas.  I was abandoned, deserted and left with no resources in a city with no family or friends. I was forced to have due process and custody for our children in Florida where we had never lived. I was literally left without any resources or legal aid while the person that perpetrated this received all the funding, got resources, had to prove nothing.  I have been in domestic violence in previous relationship and denied resources then also. 

  In December 2018 the day before Christmas I was served with divorce. Our daughters lives stolen, their innocence stolen, lied to , living in deceit like criminals running.  Our daughters whereabouts were kept from me, all information was hidden from me. The addictive lifestyle of lies and deceit being done while no one answered my texts, phone calls on where our children were - voice mails were full so I couldn’t leave messages.  Emails and texts were not returned.  I received a few photos but the absolute horrifying look of terror and fear on our daughters faces left me speechless.

   Even worse a system who along side a perpetrator of domestic terrorism.  All education, daily care, health everything was kept from me and once I found it was polar opposite more like the biological dad family of origin of whom we agreed our children would not be reared like.  Instead it was being done now the legal system was being used to perpetrate it.  

  Since the divorce filing Dec. 2018 I still didn’t have finances or resources to be able to hire a lawyer.   I was  told that I would need to hire a lawyer in Florida, a state that we never lived in. I was told to file for legal aid, but could not get legal aid because I didn’t live in Florida and never had lived in Florida.  I contacted Domestic violence organizations - I also have a list of org. And agencies in addition to the state attorney general, the governor etc for Florida.  The domestic violence organizations refused to help me because I did not live in Florida.  I contacted nationwide organizations who stated that I would need to live in Florida for 6 months to be a resident to use their services.  Really, if I had the money to move I would have the $5000- $15,000 that I was told would definitely get my children back.  I have lists , contact names and case #s.  Even in Florida.  I called the Bar as well and was given several names of lawyers and attorneys for Pro-bono work.  However when I contacted these lawyers there were no true Pro-bono but instead only a reduced fee or payment arrangements.  Up until December 2019 I was coerced into being Pro- Se I was not given an option.  I was told that I would lose my children and there was nothing I could do about it. That my case for custody that it would be filed as a default judgement. In other words that they punish you for the bad behavior of the other parent. Especially this prejudice is done harshly even more if you are a stay at home mother.

   I researched, spoke to other parents and finally figured out how to do my own motions, file them and how to do proper procedural rules with the court.  Rather than do nothing. I spent months working on this. We had court ordered mediation which resulted in me saying that I would never make an agreement with anyone , including the biological dad who has addict behaviors.  So then there was a non jury trial - I sent in a motion to file for telephone hearing, my answer and counterclaim- all on time, all on the docket.  The court hearing was rescheduled. Then the judge changed and then there was another court date from the first court date that was rescheduled.  

I had requested a telephone hearing I had this notarized, and served, I then noticed the opposing counsel had changed - I contacted the judicial assistant the week before the hearing to see if it had been approved. I was financially unable to go to Florida. I was told you have to attend the first hearing in person by JA.  I asked where that was in procedural rules and there was no response. I contacted the JA up until the day of the trial when new opposing counsel emailed me that morning of the trial and said that they had no problem me attending via phone to call the JA 15 min prior to hearing for the call in number which I did.  The JA did not answer the first two calls. It was 5 minutes prior to the trial that the JA answered I told her who I was and calling for the call in number. She told me that at that moment the Judge had denied my telephone hearing. The day of the trial.  I learned sometime after this that the judge had given sole custody to my now former husband and all decision making for our handicapped daughter. I also learned that fraud by the biological dad had been used in the court with no evidence to back this decision up.  

  In December 2019 I was in a group for parental alienation and met  a lawyer who is currently my lawyer.  I explained to her the timeline and what happened.  She took my case.  I finally felt relief someone especially anyone legal was on my side. My nightmare has still not needed.  I have watched our daughters health deteriorate. The team I worked with for almost 14 years including Guardianship and Health and medical trusts, her medical and alternative Dr. Because of the deceit and kidnapping have also protected the biological kidnapper.  Whilst allowing our daughters health her mental, emotional, psychological and physical health to deteriorate.  The Dr. Has refused me medical records and now refused progress notes.  Medical maltreatment and malpractice, in addition to Guardianship fraud and misuse of funds from her entitlement trust funds to be used for her health expenses.

  There was a hearing June 30,2020 for a motion to set aside the judgement regarding the fraud that had been entered into court previous, while my pro se response seemed to be invalidated and no response.  We attended via Zoom June 30,2020 for this hearing to which my lawyer provided the legal case and the judge ordered a decision to over turn the previous judgement from October 2019.  On this Zoom hearing, the judge scheduled a pretrial hearing ( when I called in for the the JA never answered and I left voice mails (2) that the JA never returned. ). I verified this number via text with my lawyer prior to the pretrial hearing. I was told by my lawyer - it wasn’t really a big deal it was all lawyer stuff about our case.  I thought it was a pretty big deal considering this is me and my childrens lives and so far I have no trust for the legal system or the system at all.  

  During the June 30, 2020 hearing the judge also set the Trial date for August 31,2020 an all day trial.  I was called last week ( Aug. 24th week ) to say there was a scheduling conflict - and they were hopeful that the other opposing counsel would work with them to reschedule. I was called at the end of last week to state the Judge cancelled the August 31,2020 date and the  trial would be rescheduled.  One daughter has aged out now- refuses to talk with me, refuses to text or email me - after being a stay at home mom to her for 17 years.  Parental abuse of parent alienation and enmeshment of the pathogenic parent.  

  Our daughter who will be 17 on next Monday sept 7th - they have been kept , withheld from me no holidays or birthdays - held hostage and this will be 4 birthdays.  This daughter has been mentally, emotionally, psychologically and medically abused.  There are medical records and progress notes to compare to evidence this.  

  In addition I am a co-permanent Guardian on our daughters entitlement that I won for her entitlement from the vaccine injury.  No one else took part in this.  NO one.  The biological dad is requesting to remove me as a permanent guardian in Arkansas.  The court to remove me as permanent guardian is September.  I do not have financial means for an attorney for this.  I have done multiple fundraiser over the past three years to which I have gotten $125.00.  I have spent more than that in mailing documents trying to be a Pro se that I never asked for.  

  I wasn’t able to afford to buy custody of my children where they could live as they had previous in peace.  I could go into details of behaviors etc in the past but I don’t feel it is relevant here. 

  I believe and feel I have been treated as a criminal with no trial.  I was literally Gaslighted by almost every professional agency, organization incising the Dept. of Justice and the FBI.  I was threatened by the DHHS intake for Tarrant Cty . Region 6.  I was asked by lawyers in Texas, once I knew my children were in Florida if I knew where they were and once I said Florida - I had lawyers to tell me that even if I had the funds that they would not represent me if they were in another state and especially Florida. 

  My children were trafficked by a biological parent to fit their own needs. Not for the best interest  or the safety of our children.  In addition with my experience the legal system and all local, state and regional government that is in place to be able to protect children - they do not.  Instead they exploit it and they further divide families so that they can further exploit  the family rather and make profit from it. Keeping moms and dads engaged to hate,  treating children like timeshares and chattle, casting the children for lots and exploiting them due to their own childhood traumas and addictive behaviors.  Our daughters funds are being exploited and our daughter is being used while her health and mind deteriorate.  

  I was told if I felt my children were in danger, which I do, that I could contact DHS in Florida.  That gives me no feeling of peace at all. You see the judge in the order in October 2019 declared our handicapped daughter a ward of the state of Florida.  Why? If our daughter were to be placed in to foster care or therapeutic care she would die.  Drugging her to stop seizures wouldn’t even touch the mental and psychological hell she has been forced to endure.  

  

  Thank you for a platform to tell my story.  I will continue to tell my story.  And I will continue to help other moms and dads with their stories and to help them navigate the system that destroys families and children while they profit.  

  Who will help us to save our children?  Those who have been given the platform are killing and destroying families for generations.  Causing mental, emotional and physical trauma abuse.  Who will help save our children?  If you are not taking part in helping to save them, then you are the part who is killing them.  

 #JusticeforAbigaile on facebook 

#Saveourchildren

#beloud